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When you experience this grave and profound heartbreak, nausea wells up in the pit of your stomach as your body vibrates uncontrollably in extreme shock, as suddenly the world you knew and the life you have spent years building does not actually exist. This physical manifestation will occur again, randomly, or every time thoughts sparked by anything ever shared, like goals, plans or experiences. On this one, no doubt you are starkly and utterly alone. You feel emotionally raped, raw and exposed, vulnerably floundering from an assault that precipitated from the very one you love and trust the most. From the very one who spoke repeated, convincible and reassuring words and even in the presence of God, vowed to protect and honor you.

When you’re able to fight off the bitter pain to raise your head high enough for a gasp of air, a glimpse of rational thought comes to mind as a simple one word question… why? This question reemerges hauntingly over and over again as if stuttering in time, seemingly unable to complete another step forward until a reasonable answer emerges. Even if the answer does not get relayed to me it is a moral imperative that these questions be seriously contemplated. Through understanding why we take the low road our eyes are opened and as a collective we can choose to repair society starting with our own little corner. My hope is that these very questions start ringing in your ears before engaging in defiling another’s marriage.

Did you want what you perceived me to have? My mother always said “Never believe anything you read and only half of what you see”. This latter part was never as clear as it is now. Someone else’s life can easily look perfect when you’re on the outside looking in. Was it as simple as an acquisition, a challenging lure cast to prove your power of persuasion or worth by extracting surrender from an unlikely candidate? Did you fall in love through an insidious mixture of what your fairytale thoughts and his conjured charisma painted, meaning; did you see what you wanted to see or what he wanted you to see or any combination thereof? Given the distinction between lust and passion, does your happily ever after not include passion, loyalty and respect? Is truth not valued for your future? Was it just a monetary or recognition gain, looking for any man with means to support your entitled lifestyle or goals? Or was it all just a savior mission to rescue him from the talons of the wicked witch he so meticulously crafted that you in your infinite stupidity unwittingly fell for and believed?

Obviously since your displaced desires have been met, are you happy with your prize? Did you get what you thought you deserved, or do you egoistically believe you have the power to prevent him from betraying you? He has already displayed his values openly to you as he carefully hid them from the light of day, certain not to tarnish his essence in my view. Still you chose to accept any scrap of a relationship pursued as an arbitrary accomplishment. Again, I ask why? Statistically most adulterous men will choose to stay married to his wife because a divorce will automatically cut his wealth in half, plus the expense of a court battle. These men obviously and sadly value money over a list of values that a loving, hard working wife only hoped they had.

I hold my husband equally responsible for imparting grief to me and my family but I shall not minimize your actions as you may fool an unsuspecting wife, you may fool an unremarkable man, but there is no mistaking your knowledge of the person you’ve become and only you have to reconcile that. Your tactless lack of judgment may have many negative implications but one thing I can assure you that this one will go down in history and live forever in the hearts and the minds of my children.

The Wife


Notable Quotes

"Without debate, without criticism, no administration and no country can succeed -- and no republic can survive" -- JFK.
"A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have." --Thomas Jefferson
July 2018
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